A Victor's Poison
by True Love's Kis5
Summary: twenty-three people lose their lives in the games. One is unfortunate enough to lose their soul. They're given the name of a victor and sometimes stripped of all things that they love. But there is one thing, no matter how broken the victor, that they all fear. Hope. And there was always one girl who gave Haymitch Abernathy hope.
1. Chapter 1

Effie looked outside, face pressed firmly against the glass, feeling the crisp coldness against her pale skin. And she wanted nothing more than to feel the cold little droplets on her fingertips, and to catch them on tongue. However, a thick glass doorway sealed Effie away from the frosty wonderland that she had always wanted to experience.

Since her parents were gone at some sort of strange capitol party, Effie might have been able to slip outside and dance in the wispy snow, but she was forbidden, because her tiny hands couldn't undo the locks without a key that she didn't have.

So instead of breaking outside to make snow angels, Effie sat down on the couch. Her tiny yet clumsy hands clambered at the remote on the table as she failed to turn on her favorite show, the Hunger Games.

Action immediately took possession of the screen as the boy from twelve ravenously sliced off the girl from four's head. There was a tight shlock noise and then a sharp cannon rang through the arena. There were only two more careers left for Haymitch to kill. It wasn't completely hopeless.

Her eyes widened as the anticipation built. She didn't want her favorite tribute to die, and it didn't look well for him.

But everything went wrong. Haymitch dodged a slice from four, but he was weakened from his previous fight, and not near as quick as he had to be to dodge the next blow. A firm hand shoved Haymitch to the closest tree and a knife held to his neck. "Any last words, Twelve?"

It sounded like Haymitch might have been trying to say something, but blood was dripping out of his mouth and he would have had trouble forming words had he tried. But this isn't the end for him, and the gargle of blood isn't his last words. Because before he can say a syllable, the attacker drops dead.

Effie let out a huge sigh of relief and began fiddling with hairclip that was holding her hair in a tight bun. Though she usually enjoyed the Hunger Games, she sometimes grew rather bored with the blood and gore. However, she would never be the one to speak up about it.

It was an unspoken rule; Everyone liked the games even if they didn't. If you disagree with the blood and malice that the gamemakers create, then you pretend that you agree wholeheartedly. Smile past it and clap when a particularly gruesome death is displayed. And eventually everyone learns to love the games.

Not to say that Effie didn't like the games. Because of course she did, but occasionally, she found them a little too sad when one of her favorite tribute died. Of course, right then, her favorite tribute, Haymitch Abernathy from district twelve, was still alive, but still she was horribly bored.

Once she finally got the hairclip off of her white curls, she let a small smile pass onto her lips. With this clip, she could probably sneak outside. But then again, she didn't know how to pick the lock, and with Effie, devious thoughts never got very far.

With a sigh, she dismissed her terrible thoughts and put the golden pin back into her hair. Then she slowly walked up the stairs to her own room where she could play with her tea set in peace.

In Effie's room, on the chairs next to the tea set sat Fredricka the teddy bear, Millie the doll, and an empty seat for herself. They were always perfect companions for tea, and never interrupted her when she talked. But that day Effie felt like she needed someone else to play with. She pulled out a new stuffed pillow of the one and only-Haymitch Abernathy, and smiled at her handiwork. Now the table felt perfectly full.

Effie poured the tea that was always ready for her into four cups and said " , it's nice to meet you."

Sighing dramatically, she mutters "If only it was the real you, Mr. Haymitch. You need to get out of the arena so I can meet you for real. And then my daddy will let you come over and we can have slumber parties and tea… that would be so much fun!"

Of course, the Haymitch stuffed pillow doesn't respond and she would be worried if he did, but Euphemia can just imagine him saying "Of course, Effie! I just can't wait!"


	2. Residual Force

**Wow! I was so surprised with all the feedback I got last chapter :D! I think I'll have to finish this story after that… reviews inspire me GREATLY so don't be afraid to tell me EXACTLY what you think!**

**Rose – **Thanks for being such a loyal reader of all of my stories and such a great friend! I hope that you'll review this one too because all of your reviews brighten my day.. and no of course haymitch would NOT want to have slumber parties with a little 10 year old girl who wants to dye his hair XD

**EffieAbernathy – **I just love you, ya know that? You just love my writing and that makes me feel so much happier about my stuff :) so if you keep reviewing like that I might never want to stop writing

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**Ok, ok, now here's the part that you actually (hopefully) care about **

**Residual Force**

The afternoon was hot and there was a residual dampness from the hot rain the day before. As winter had slowly declined from snowballs and frost, summer moved in where the coolness had once been. And something completely miserable replaced Effie's confidence at the same time.

It had been some time since Effie had ever wanted to be District Twelve's escort. That had all ended when Twelve's victor had crawled into a depression so far that he hadn't been able to get out of it since his games. There were even rumors, whispered about in the dark in the capitol that suggested that he had also fallen into the bottle.

But something strangely close to what Effie might call fate had dragged them together and she had been elected to be District Twelve's escort.

As for the rumors, well, she didn't believe them. As much evidence as there was, she just held too much respect for her first favorite victor to favor the stupid Capitol gossip.

Because every rumor crudely whispered in the dark has to start somewhere. Every single whisper has a core. Whether it's a bored Capitol citizen hoping to spread malice, or someone who is trying to gain something by making someone else feel worse. But once in a while, every so often, those whispers come from the truth. And those are the rumors that you never want to hear.

* * *

These thoughts and more ran through Effie's head as the train zoomed past the retreating scenery on it's way to District Twelve. Effie couldn't get herself out of this damp, annoyed mood that she had been in for days.

Effie just knew that she deserved a better District! She was peppy, she was beautiful, and stylish! She could be friendly at the worst of times, and yet, she had gotten the worst job on the list.

But as always, there was only one thing that Effie could do with this situation. She had to make the best out of it and pretend she was having the time of her life.

After a few minutes, where she touched up her makeup until she looked positively fabulous, the train stopped and she quietly hopped off of, hoping to be greeted by Mr. Abernathy.

As soon as her high, pink stilettos touched the ground, and she brushed off her dress, she was greeted by a tall, blonde man who greeted himself as Mayor Donner.

"Hello!" Greeted Effie with a smile "Do you happen to know where Mr. Abernathy is? He is supposed to attend the reaping which will be in approximately fifteen minutes."

The mayor nodded with a sad expression as he said "Yes. He's always late. The poor boy; you should probably go fetch him from his house." He paused for a moment before saying "I'm sorry to give you this duty on your first day, but it must be done."

For a district man, the mayor seemed very nice. Effie thought that she quite liked him. "Thank you! I'm sure that I'll be able to get Mr. Abernathy to the reapings by the scheduled time."

The mayor nodded with an even deeper frown "I hope so." He sighed "I don't- I don't really think that boy's woken up since his games."

Effie nodded her head, sure that the mayor was mistaken. Of course he had woken up since his games! Unless he was saying that he hadn't seen him outside of his house, what he was saying really made no sense.

She began walking towards the Victor's Village, which proved a difficult task in 7-inch high stilettos, but she managed it. The mayor had helpfully pointed out which house she should go to, so she found the house quite easily. After walking to the first house on the very left, she knocked on the door, yelling "Mr. Haymitch?"

There was an ominous silence in which Effie waited in, hoping for the door to open. After knocking a few more times-a bit harder this time, she found that the door was in fact open, she walked in without anyone opening the door for her.

After walking into the house, Effie squinted her eyes to adjust to the dim light which lit the strange premises. "Mr. Abernathy? It's time for the-" she shrieked as a knife hit a picture frame next to her, shattering it at her feet.

She turned almost too quickly to see Haymitch leaned in the corner. "Who the hell are you?" he said as if vaguely interested. As he was sharpening another knife, Effie would have found it unwise to say anything rude about the knife sticking in the wall.

Well, Effie wasn't really thinking about the knife really, though she probably should have been. Effie couldn't help but notice that even though Haymitch looked worn, he was still strikingly handsome; the kind of handsome that the Capitol women used to throw themselves at him for.

His dark curls were disheveled in a messy, but somewhat attractive way; and his eyes were a startling silver, The color of the full moon on a particularly cloudy night. But his clothes were just as disheveled as his hair and not even as clean. You would think that with all of his money, that he could afford some decent clothes, but he what he was wearing hardly fit the role of a victor.

Effie held her schedule tight to her chest, glad that she had foundation to cover what she was sure to be a heavy blush. "Mr. Abernathy, I'm the new escort, Effie Trinket and the mayor told me to 'escort' you to the reaping." She let out a tiny giggle. She was an escort…get it… she had to escort him? Haymitch didn't seem to understand the joke.

He squinted at her as if he couldn't quite see her clear enough and said "Fine. One question."

"Sure" Said Effie with a polite smile. She shifted her footing and tilted her head slightly to see the knife sticking out of the wall. Funny how when she saw Haymitch, she completely forgot that there was a knife in the wall…

Haymitch's dark expression didn't change, but he said "What's wrong with your face?"

Effie crossed her arms, accidentally dropping her schedule "What do you mean by that, Mr. Abernathy?"

"I thought it was a fairly obvious question." He said blandly "What's wrong with your face. It's all…ugly."

Deciding to overlook that comment, Effie clenched her jaw and continued to speak "So anyway, Mr. Abernathy, we're going to be late to the reaping at this rate! Come on!"

Haymitch groaned, then got up and followed Effie, "The fact that the mayor had to send you to wake me up is just sad."

Effie pulled her fluffy jacket over her shoulders and said "Manners, Haymitch. I'm your escort and I shall proceed to be a good one."

Haymitch obviously disagreed, but by the time they got to the stage, he didn't seem to care one way or another if he found a good comeback. He was already strangely focused on the stage as if it were death itself coming to take Haymitch as its own.

The mayor, who Effie by this point in time quite liked, greeted Haymitch and shook his hand. But he didn't seem to have the same disdain for the mayor that he held privately for Effie.

A crowd was gathering under the stage so that Effie could call the names of the lucky tributes. With her high-heeled shoes, she found it difficult to trudge her way up the stairs, but after a while, she was at the top and had forgotten her struggle. And apparently the crowd did too, because, unlike in the Capitol, these people didn't laugh at all, while in the Capitol, they would have found it horribly embarrassing and hilarious. Luckily the camera's hadn't started rolling yet.

Once everyone was in their places and the Mr. Undersee had given the cue for her to start, Effie introduced

herself. "Hello! I'm Effie Trinket, District Twelve's new escort and I'm happy to meet you!"

The crowd didn't even crack a smile

"And now, without further ado, ladies first! And may the odds be ever in your favor." She said, her voice perky. The one thing that Effie didn't understand was that when she watched District Twelve's reaping, they always cheered and clapped! It wasn't at all like this on television…

Pushing her feelings behind her, she put her hand in the girl's bowl, moving her fingers around "Amber Donner!"

A small girl, about 12 years of age stared at Effie with wide eyes, her blonde hair curled around her face in a show of pure innocence. Effie's heart felt like it plunged into icy water. This was the girl that she had chosen?

But Haymitch's reaction was even worse. Even though it might have been a sweet gesture, she knew how the authorities of Panem would react… When the tiny girl walked to the stage, he helped her up. And even though he quickly sat down, the instantaneous effect on the crowd was startling.

Perhaps they had lost all faith in their victor, forgotten that he had a heart too. And maybe it was the pained expression on his face as he saw the Donner girl, or the fact that he had helped her, but the crowd fell silent.

In the crowd, a small but beautiful girl in the crowd reached out her hands. Two fingers outstretched towards him from her lips.

Haymitch didn't move a muscle, but when he saw the girl, he didn't take his silver eyes off of her. Not once.

Entranced by the reaction, Effie found herself frozen for a few moments before saying in a rather shaky voice "Good! And now for the boys…" she paused and dug her hand in the bowl before announcing " Areik Goldenrod!"

Haymitch didn't extend the same kindness to Areik as he did to Amber, and for that, Effie was grateful. The two tributes shook hands, though Amber looked like she was frozen to the ground.

Effie clapped, but when the crowd didn't respond, disappointed, she walked down the stairs without a word.

* * *

After a few minutes, Haymitch followed Effie down the stairs, holding Amber's hand carefully. He looked like he was already telling her what to do, but his eyes were uncharacteristically soft.

Amber was shivering harshly, but Effie couldn't help but smile at the scene. There was her Mr. Haymitch. She had found him at last.

Once Amber was in the room where her parents would soon visit her, Effie asked Haymitch "Who is she? You obviously know her from somewhere. You've always been known as the victor who didn't care what happened to your tributes…"

Though Haymitch looked more focused and professional than before, this comment made him annoyed just like any other of hers. "I've always cared what happened to my tributes, princess. I just don't think that all of them can survive. When I find someone who I think can win, I'll actually help them."

"What about the boy last year? He was a lot stronger than Amber! And Haymitch, let's be logical here! She's not going to win! She's twelve years old…"

Apparently that was the last straw. Haymitch glared at her, "I told you once I found someone who I thought could win, I'd help them. I'm not stupid, like you might think, I don't think she'll win, but she's twelve, she doesn't need to die feeling like no one cares about her. No one deserves to die like that…" he looked as if he understood the feeling better than he pretended he did. Haymitch felt alone and cold, didn't he?

Effie scrunched her eyebrows together "Why her? There have been other twelve years olds, haven't there? Why her?"

Haymitch looked down as if he was trying to think about his answer, but in the end, he didn't answer her. He only muttered two words "Amber Donner."

"Ok?" asked Effie, "I know her name, Haymitch! There's no way I could forget her name…"

"No." he grabbed the sides of her face forcefully "You don't understand. That's your answer. You asked if I knew her. Amber **Donner**. From what I can tell, you're not stupid. Think."

Apparently Haymitch thought that she wasn't stupid, but Effie kept drawing blanks. She didn't know what Amber's name had to do with anything, let alone her last name! She couldn't think of any victors with the last name Donner, and he couldn't really expect her to remember all of the tribute's names…

She shook her head "I don't know what you mean…." She looked up at him with huge blue eyes, "What does Amber's name have to do with anything."

Haymitch shook his head, "Nothing. Never mind, Trinket. I thought you might have a brain in your head, but I was obviously wrong."

"Now wait! Just because I don't know someone with the last name donner doesn't mean I'm stupid, Haymitch!"

"But it does," said Haymitch, shaking his head.

* * *

When they were on the train, Effie grew more and more curious to why Haymitch was so interested in Amber. The girl snuck little smiles out of him that Effie would never be able to force out of Haymitch without even trying!

Effie couldn't help but think that she looked familiar, but her mind just kept drawing blanks.

Amber glanced at Haymitch warmly and said, "You know, you're not as bad as people say you are."

Haymitch stared at her, "Hell no, sweetheart. I'm way worse than people say I am."

The strangest thing was, Areik didn't seem confused at all. He just held a slim smile as he stuffed himself with food, as if he knew exactly what was going on and thought it for the best.

So Effie thought deeply, pulling memories out of her mind that she never would have thought of. The only way that Areik could know why Haymitch knew Amber is if she had something to do with Haymitch's games. As far as Effie knew, Areik didn't know Haymitch specifically, but… oh.

that's when it hit her. Donner. She understood why Haymitch insisted that she would win. She understood why he wouldn't let her go even if it meant hurting him more in the long run.

**_"No." he had grabbed the sides of her face forcefully, "You don't understand. That's your answer. You asked if I knew her. Amber _****_Donner_****_. From what I can tell, you're not stupid. Think."_**

She covered her mouth; because she was thinking now. Amber Donner was Maysilee Donner's sister, and Haymitch wasn't going to be able to let go of her until she was truly gone this time.

* * *

Thank you for reading! I'm pretty sure I'm going to continue this story, but please review! Tell me how I'm doing :)

thanks for everyone who reviewed last chapter and special thanks to Smurfstastegoodontoast for being an amazing beta :D


	3. Lamb For The Slaughter

**Lamb for the slaughter**

* * *

The lamb is prepared for the slaughter like that, hands up in a submission that will never be considered. And it happened like this.

Blonde hair pulled back in a messy tail, orangey-hazel eyes flashing dangerously, Amber stared at the grey-eyed mentor. "Why am I so important? You can't really think that I'm going to win this, so why do you care so much?"

Haymitch didn't flinch, but his eyes flicked to Effie for a second before saying "I didn't realize you were so stupid. Look, I don't like watching little kids die believe it or not. I'd rather at least say I tried."

"Then what about the others?" she growled "I want to live-I really do, Haymitch, but I can't! I can't kill those people, I won't." a slim tear leaked out of her eye, crawling down her chin.

Effie knew deep in her heart that she was right; a twelve year old has never won in 54 years, and it was very unlikely that she would be the one to do it. She was just too incompliant to kill.

She was like a tiny bird who refused to eat the first worm. It would ultimately save her life, and get her closer to adulthood, but it would also end a life. Most of the other birds were willing to do it if it meant living, but this one wouldn't do it.

That made Effie wonder if Haymitch was bothered by killing other children. She had seen him with his knife, brutally killing his opponents, but she hadn't once thought that he might have been affected by that.

Biting her lip, Effie decided not to break the silence that Haymitch had left. She realized that the reason he wanted to help Amber so badly was because she was Maysilee's sister, and didn't know why Amber hadn't figured it out too. But no matter what she wanted to say, it wasn't her decision to talk about, and truthfully, she wanted to know what Haymitch would say.

He finally cut through the silence "None of your business, sweetheart. If you have a problem with it, I can stop. They didn't have any chance of winning, anyway." After a distinct pause, he added "Just like you."

Effie wanted to slap Haymitch a hundred times over for his last sentence, but she stopped herself, with no more than a "That's not true…"

But Effie knew that it was true. This girl wasn't going to win. The only thing that she was surprised about was the fact that he would finally admit it.

Amber just stood still, hazel eyes fixed on his grey ones "Then why are you trying so hard."

That was the question that Effie wanted to hear him answer. Not because she didn't understand, but because she wanted to see if he'd tell the truth about it.

But this is the first rule that Effie learned about Haymitch. Of course, I'm not to that part yet, but the first rule that she will learn is that Haymitch lies. But not this time.

"Maysilee." He said simply, his eyes flashing with uncharacteristic concern.

Amber, finally seeing the bottle in his hands scowled "What about her?"

Now this made Effie really confused. Certainly she knew that Haymitch was in the games with her, that he was her ally! If she didn't…well that just didn't make any sense. And surely, she wasn't so stupid that she didn't understand the connection between the two.

Effie shook her head, walking out of the room to avoid the banter that was sure to follow. She didn't like this at all. She didn't understand why Amber would be more interested in why Haymitch was paying attention to her than her need to live.

However, it wasn't really Effie's business, so she just shut the door to her room, her eyes quickly finding a white envelope on her desk.

* * *

And love is like envy in a way, far more passionate and confusing than any of the other emotions. Like war, because war is kind to those who have not experienced it. And it happened like this.

It was a simple little thing, not anything that could have possible come from the capitol. White vanilla folds with crimson red wax sealing it together in an old, yet somehow elegant method. Perhaps it was from Haymitch, since he was the only person who Effie knew that could find something like this.

Excitement taking away her steady patience, she opened the note, the wax peeling away like wet clay.

It didn't have a signature, so Effie wasn't sure who it was from, but the note clearly said

"Look behind you"

Effie hesitantly turned around to see a white, velvet rose with fragile drops of water shining off of it's petals. It was a delicate gesture, commonly associated with love in old novels that Effie had read.

She dragged her finger across the green stem, only to slide her finger across the thorn. Effie let out a tiny yelp and dropped the rose, suddenly aware that someone was staring at her through the doorframe.

Effie's false blue irises met cold grey ones, hardened with something like age, though the owner certainly wasn't old. Haymitch Abernathy glanced at her with somewhat of a tempered playfulness that didn't spread to his dead eyes which Effie found she couldn't meet.

"Sweetheart, use your brain. Unless you didn't realize, roses have thorns." He rolled his eyes, but the curiosity in his expression implied that he wasn't the one that left it.

However, Effie had to check. "Did you leave it here?" she accused, annoyance crossing her features.

Haymitch shook his head, letting out a small, but rather cruel chuckle escape from his mouth "You think I'd give you a rose? Not likely, sweetheart."

Effie's cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Of course he didn't… (why was she so disappointed?) But if Haymitch hadn't left the rose, then who did?

Trying to change the subject, Effie added "So how did things go with Amber?"

His features sharpened if it was possible "Fine. I just had to explain exactly why I wasn't helping her stupid counterpart…what's-his-name…"

"Areik" squealed Effie, petite arms crossing around her chest "Are you drunk or do you really just forget tribute's name?"

Haymitch then did the strangest thing, he roughly shoved her chin upwards, forcing her to look him in the eyes "Dammit, woman! Look at me…"

Maybe he didn't like the way Effie avoided his broken gaze, but whatever the reason, he whispered "Probably a bit of both."

Effie's fragile heart beat in it's cage, trying as hard as it could to escape her ribs. Something about this man made her heart race.

There was something strangely… sexy about Haymitch Abernathy that could never be seen on cameras. When he touched her skin, shivers went to her spine, making her cheeks run red with a wild blush that she never thought she would see on herself.

* * *

And life happens like this. Like a confusing, spiraling maze, always leading you in the wrong direction. And it happened like this.

From that day forward, Effie tried her hardest to stay away from Haymitch. She knew that he wasn't trying to be seductive (because that would be the most un-haymitch like thing that she'd ever seen) but something about him made her heart race, and she didn't' like it.

There was something almost too old about that boy.

While she ignored Haymitch, she let herself fall into the notes that continued appearing at her door or on her desk. The notes usually had something to do with an old poem of love, long forgotten by time.

Effie didn't know who the notes were from, but was it possible to fall head over heels for someone who she hadn't ever met? Because if it was possible, Effie would be the one to prove it, she really did love him. Or-at least she hoped it was a "him"-otherwise that would kind of put a damper on the situation.

She constantly thought about writing letters back to this man, but there was never a return address. Effie wished that he would just come out and tell him who he was, but she knew that there wasn't any way to talk to him.

So Effie blotted out the world with the letters, trying her best to forget her impending feelings for Haymitch. It wasn't as if she wanted to feel this way.

She didn't want her heart to thump in her chest every time she saw him, she didn't want- oh that god forsaken man- her feelings were so confused.

She just hated him too much not to love him a little bit.

* * *

And darkness comes out like this, sneaky and unforgiving until it lashes out. And it happens like this.

Effie was saved from her conflicting emotions a couple days later when Amber and Areik went into the games. Haymitch was far more tense than he had been in the previous, like a snake ready to snap. Effie tried to be careful around him, but every little thing that she did ended up with Haymitch growling at her as if she was the most despicable creature in the world.

And the fact was, maybe to him, she was. She was brought up to love the kill. She was brought up to love the ending of life. The more blood the better. He was the lamb for the slaughter, and who is more despicable than the shepherds.

That wasn't true, though. Because Haymitch did hate President Snow more than anything, who took all that he loved away, but he didn't have any reason to hate Effie. He only hated all that she stood for.

Maybe that was a lot.

And she tries her hardest to win without becoming a killer, something that she's not. But little Amber dies like all the rest and Effie begins to understand what it must be like to be a victor.

Because 24 people go into that arena, and Effie wasn't really sure if any of them came out fully alive.

And it happens like this. He loses control completely. He didn't mean to take out his anger on her, but maybe he did blame her a little bit. Maybe she was something that he hated.

I'll leave you to decide what you think happened.

All I'll say is that she didn't think that she might love him anymore. He was far too sad and angry, and far too alive.

* * *

**_OK! if you're going to review (and I really hope you do) Ca_****n you answer a couple questions for me? (I'll tell you if you're write but this will really help me)**

**1 – what do you think happened? XD**

**2 – can you guess who is writing the notes?**

**(note to editor: sorry for not bringing this past you, I was really, really late on updating XD)**

**OH! And just a note, I was sick the entire time I was writing this, so I'm sorry if it's not great quality!**


	4. Beautiful Hell

**Beautiful Hell**

There are always those people who were never meant to meet the world. Because the world is cold and it's hard, and some people are too beautiful to meet something so harsh. Someday you'll meet one of them and you'll know what I mean. Some people are not favored by the world, and others are given riches and love.

Life isn't fair, it never has been. It is impossible to tell who shall be loved and who shall be hated. Civilization is told to laugh and love and learn, but how can we when there are so many who never get the chance. How can we when we learn that not everyone is favored by life?

The odds are not in everyone's favor.

Certainly the odds were not in his favor, Haymitch's, who had fought to keep out of the hold of death. Death is greedy for those who fight so hard to keep out of its grasp, but in his case, life's hold was far too strong. Haymitch stayed alive, though death still tempted throughout his life.

Death followed him everywhere he went, taking form in every possible being. Tempting and teasing until Haymitch was left empty and ruined. Some people were never meant to meet the world, and others were never meant to meet hell.

This, though, was the last straw. When death took Amber Donner, it started to take its toll on the mentor. He was not one to appreciate death's beauty in the first place, but after that point, he hated it. It had taken everything from him, so he took everything from it in return.

If death wanted him so badly, it could have him; right after he ruined himself. He drank until he passed out and his liver went to hell.

Though, I'm not there yet, we all know how this story ends. Haymitch Abernathy let death taunt him until he thought that his life was not his own.

The beauty of hell.

So let me start here, start at the beginning of this particular hell. Let's start when Haymitch is still so alive; so very sad and angry, and very, very alive.

He was sitting on the couch when the little mockingjay was stolen by the games. His hair was windblown, though attractive, Effie found herself noticing it, wanting to drag her hand through it, because it was just so natural. She'd never seen hair that was so untouched by product.

Yes-this is what Effie was thinking of. It may seem shallow and horrible, but she was shallow. She never realized how horribly this would affect the mentor.

His eyes, which were a dark shade of silver before white, were darkened as he scrunched his eyebrows together. He sliced his hand across the table, flinging everything in different directions.

Effie let out a tiny squeal and jumped off of the couch which was then littered with tiny shards of glass. "Haymitch Abernathy!" she shouted "You could have killed me!"

He glared at her. "Oh, that would have been a shame, sweetheart," he hissed.

"What is wrong with you!?" squealed Effie, taking a step back from him. He was probably crazy! He was from twelve after all, and who knows what they teach their children there?

"Nothing! A girl just died Effie, she died! You met her, you talked to her! And now she's dead! How can you just sit there like absolutely nothing happened?" he shouted, holding his glare.

Effie's attempt at a glare back was feeble at best, but she attempted to do so. It wasn't Effie's fault that Amber was dead! It was for the good of the Capitol after all. "Well Haymitch, sometimes people have to die for the good of everyone. We don't want another rebellion on our hands, do we?"

His eyes grew a strangely dangerous quality and he went ominously quiet. "Princess, you might want to shut up right about now before I do something that I'll regret."

Effie's blue eyes widened "You're insane! Absolutely insane!"

"I could say the same of you." He growled back, though the dangerous quality was disappearing from his eyes.

Effie's flighty blue eyes flashed and before she could think about what she was doing, she slapped him as hard as she could-or at least-she tried, but Haymitch caught her wrist in his hand effortlessly, a look of almost calm crossing his expression.

"Going to hit me, Trinket?" he said, eyebrow raised slightly in amusement quickly before scrunching back into a scowl.

Shonee's blonde curls shone from the corner of the room. The stylist was walking in from the dining hall, probably having seen Amber dying and worried about Haymitch. Unlike Effie, Shonee knew Haymitch well and was unlikely to forget that he had emotions.

She glanced at the two of them, grey eyes shooting glares at both. "Haymitch, you're drunk. Let her go."

Haymitch dropped Effie's hand, his attention turned to Shonee "Drunk? Of course not, sweetheart."

Shonee grumpily took Haymitch's hand and pulled him back to his room where Effie heard her growl "Haymitch Abernathy! Drinking? I realize that Amber is dead but we still have one tribute and we cannot afford for you to be drunk!"

Effie snuck around the corner, glancing at Shonee and Haymitch bitterly argue in the hallway. "She's dead, Shonee! Dead! As in never coming back-the end-DEAD!"

"I know that and I'm really sorry, Haymitch, but she's not Maysilee." Said Shonee, taking her tone down a notch.

Haymitch just shook his head and muttered "Whatever, Shonee, I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

"Don't drink any more, Haymitch, I don't want to see you with a hangover in the morning," she hissed. Turning the corner she ran straight into Effie.

Effie jumped and let a high-pitched squeal, having been found spying on them. Shonee crossed her arms and pulled Effie behind her, then muttered "I'm sorry you had to see that. Haymitch isn't doing well with Amber's death I guess…"

Effie tilted her head "I know that she was Maysilee's sister, but she died for the good of the games! Surely he understands why only one can win."

Shonee clenched her jaw and nodded, the stylist looking stern "Effie, he's not from the Capitol. He doesn't understand things like…you do. Most people from the capitol think that the games are holding down a rebellion, right? That it's all entertainment? Well imagine it from his point of view."

"Okay…" said Effie "So… imagine like I was working for the capitol?"

"Well…" Shonee paused "Okay, imagine that you could starve every day, and you're the only thing that is stopping your family from dying, but the worst part is that every year, the games could take your family from you and you could never get them back. That would kind of put a damper on things. It's easy to think that it'll never happen to you, so who cares. It's very far away, but you have to imagine how hard this must be for him, because he's already lost everything."

Shonee was right, though, everything was so far away. People always blame the people of the Capitol for what happened in the Capitol, but it was just like starvation in Africa before the disasters. Everyone knows that it's happening, but very few people actually understand what goes on behind the fence. It's just so far away.

So don't blame her for not realizing how bad the problem was. Blame her for being so close to the problem and being ignorant of it.

"I think I understand…" said Effie, looking down "but, if that's true, it means that I've been condemning these kids to death."

**i'm so sorry that this took so long! I had to re-write it three times because microsoft kept deleting it, and my editor is really, really busy (but she's awesome, so it's ok)**

**um R&R please, i know it's not my best... in fact, I really, really hate this chapter... tell me how I can improve!**


	5. Winter Wonderland

Winter Wonderland

Effie, in a curly blue wig, began putting her desirables in a large bag, as she had realized soon in the day that there was no reason to keep her clothes in her hotel room. They'd be out of style by the time she came back, since it would be in quite a while.

Snow was silently falling outside, and not for the first time did she have the impulse to catch the tiny pieces of snow with her tongue. She quite enjoyed snow, mostly because of what it did for the scenery around her.

Sometimes when Effie rushed into the main room of her apartment in the middle of the night, roused by some sort of nightmare, or a dream too exciting to fall asleep, she would look outside and see everything cloaked in the beautiful white flakes, and a warm smile would fall on her face, and only then, could Effie Trinket 'loosen her corset' so to say. She would make herself hot chocolate and start an artificial fire, and make herself comfortable to the point where she would watch the snowflakes fall, each little piece falling onto the ground and adding to the beauty.

Today, however, was not the day to be watching snowflakes, no matter how much she wanted to. Packing her things wasn't the only thing that she had to do. Since their male tribute had just died the night before, Effie had to make sure that Haymitch got on the train home, which was easier said than done.

Before doing anything productive, however, Effie pulled open the window in her bedroom, licking her red-coated lips before sticking her tongue out of the window and catching a snowflake in its midst.

Snow coated her lips to the point where she might have been wearing white lipstick, so, admitting to herself that she wasn't going to get anything done for the day, she went to go prepare some coffee for herself, to warm her.

Haymitch was sitting on the counter of the kitchen, his hair windblown into countless knots that he didn't seem to care to brush out. His eyes were focused down as if he wasn't in the same world as Effie, or didn't care if he seemed a little bit off-track. He'd been in a similar state of mind ever since both of their tributes had died. It couldn't have been much of a surprise, but it seemed to take a heavy toll on him as if he were a brother.

Effie might have actually believed that he was a brother, had there not been a difference in names and appearances based on Haymitch's response.

"Hello Haymitch" said Effie, her expression morphing into a false grin. She couldn't mask her uncertainty, though, since he'd been rather undeterminable of late.

Haymitch, however, just continued staring at the ground, oblivious to her confrontation. He was obviously lost in his own world, where she probably wasn't trying to get him to talk to her.

Effie pulled up a chair next to him and began stirring her hot chocolate with a tall metal spoon. She was almost afraid that it would melt in the steaming chocolate, but obviously, that was an irrational fear, and she didn't worry about it too much.

Effie had always been a talker, and when there was no one to talk to, she would often begin to talk to herself, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was when she began responding.

Since she really didn't want to begin that habit again, though, she began talking to Haymitch. She knew that he wasn't tuned into the conversation, since he was probably either drunk again, or dead tired, or just so strung out that he refused to listen to the world anymore.

"Haymitch, did I ever tell you that I was your #1 fan when I was little?" When he didn't answer, she heaved a sigh and continued "I used to have tea parties with you-well not really you, exactly, it was a stuffed pillow of you. Anyway, I would pretend that you were really there, even if you wouldn't respond, and I would tell you that someday-" she stopped for a second, blushing furiously. She decided that she was going to see if he really wasn't paying attention by saying the most stupid thing possible. "We were going to have a huge, jumbo sleepover and that we were going to be best friends forever."

It looked like Haymitch's lips might have tilted upward a little bit, but he still didn't respond.

Effie sighed and began blowing short breaths on her hot chocolate before muttering "You know, Abernathy, I think they might be right about you. Maybe you do have severe mental problems."

"Is that what they say about me?" wondered Haymitch aloud, taking a small, if frigid drink of whatever he had in his mug.

Effie's face grew hot as she said "Y-you were listening…I should have known… I-" she was cut off by haymitch's impatient comment.

"What, you thought that I was sleeping with my eyes open?" He rolled his silver eyes and took a bite out of a cookie that was apparently in his mug.

Flustered, Effie managed to say "Well, Haymitch, we're going back to District Twelve today… please don't make this difficult."

The weathered look made a re-appearance on his face and he said "Of course not. I would just love to go home and explain to their families that I just wasn't competent enough to save them."

"That's not what happened, though, Haymitch, it isn't your fault!" she sighed "Let's just go. If we get there quick enough, maybe I'll help you tell their families."

Effie realized that Haymitch probably wasn't very certain of people, didn't trust them. She took a vow on that moment that she would make sure that she was a person that he did trust.

Little did she know that she would become the only one.

**I'm so sorry that this is so late! I was on computer probation... but, to make it up to you all, if you're actually still reading this story, I'll post a new chapter this week :)**


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